Writing

I love to write. Using pen. On a journal, mostly. I write about my feelings usually. Currently, I've been writing towards someone who will married to me, in the future. Yeah, I'm a hell of hopeless romantic. Call me crazy or whatever. That's just me. Lucky him, huh. LOL

I don't write everyday. Because I'm a moody person. When I feel I want to write, I write. If not, it could take months without any writing in the journal.

Nowadays, I love to write poem. Inspired by Lang Leav. And someone. That someone told me before, I am full of emotion. I should write, that someone said. So, as per say, I wrote a bit. As we can see from previous posts. I wanted to pour out of my emotion in kind of words. But not every emotion can be said and put into words. For me, action shows more than words. Agree or disagree, it's on ourselves. No biggie.

I'm sorry if my writing is full with grammatically wrong. I will improve it from time to time. Just bare with it. On the other hand, I have a bit of this ambition to be a journalist. Anything except sports, politics, business or other boring things. I am more into travel thing. So, I hope one day, I'll get to do it.

These few weeks, I've been played by my own emotional. That's really confusing. But I am grateful that I have been chosen to experience those kind of feelings. Thank You, Allah (I am a Muslim, btw). To make things simple, I am in love with someone I am not suppose to be in love with. We could say, I WAS! It's not that I don't love that someone anymore but I want to keep far away from my heart. Everyday, I woke up from asleep, I wish I never met that someone and never been in that situation. It's hard for me. The hardest thing that happened in my life, ever. But, let's take it positively. It's one of the things that taught me how to be more careful and don't let my emotion take over my mental. I'm fine. I'm gonna be fine. It'll take time to heal, indeed. These few months, my life was not on the right track. Mentally abused by my own emotion. At times, I couldn't control. Feels like screaming, kicking, running away from here. But, life must goes on. Isn't it? The world is so wide. Why I keep holding on to someone who will never turn his back on me? That someone moves on, but why I keep waiting? Am I so dumb? Yes. I could be really stupid when it comes to love. It just maybe I needed attention from someone. But I don't realize, that everybody around me, is paying their attention to me already. Every human beings need to be love, need to love. I believe, IT IS NOT THE TIME. My time will come eventually. Just wait patiently.

To that someone, you are one of the bestest thing that ever happen in my life. I loved you before and I will like you afterward. No more crossing the boundaries.I wanted you but I don't need you. What we always wanted, not always gonna be the things we need. 

"Love doesn't mean need to be together"

-NNF88-